Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
