I hate your face
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I just sharted jello shots
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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