I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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