I'm eating all of the evidence.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
And then he peed in my hair
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