My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
