Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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