were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
