the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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