Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There r osticjed everywhere
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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