i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
