I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
