"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
