I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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