In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
