super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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