I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
