I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
