My brain says no but my pants say off.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
