Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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