I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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