3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
