READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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