so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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