apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
