It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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