I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
