That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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