You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
