Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
