my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
