Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
