my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
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