There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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