Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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