Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
