my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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