I'm so fucking centered right now
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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