Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
