We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
