so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
