Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
