Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
