We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Randomize
