If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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