I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
