at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
