no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
