Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
