He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
