After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
