smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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