"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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