Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
