If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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